Life Hacks for Minimalists

  • Increase / decrease font
  • A +
  • A -

I only check email once per week.

I move in straight lines on all occasions.

I avoid entangling alliances.

I let criticism pass through me like a rock through a ghost.

I say No to meetings and Yes to hack-a-thons.

I get into bed really fast.

When I encounter an ellipsis, I stop reading after the second period.

I only check email once per month.

I avoid unnecessary tasks, such as things that are pointless, counterproductive, or harmful.

I live on the equator so that I move farther in less time.

I turn off my phone 14 hours before I go to bed.

To avoid remembering names, I call everyone “Laura Davis”.

I close my zipper only 80% – saves 30 seconds per month.

“Fuel the beast”: I provide healthy snacks for the caged beast in my office.

I only check email once.

I use the Benjamin Franklin technique—if too many tasks pile up, I move to France.

I make one day per week my absence day: I fill it with absences.

I work at a bread mill desk—it’s a desk where you mill bread while you work.

I don’t sweat the small stuff, the big stuff, or the medium stuff.

Once every 40 minutes, I press the nearest off button no matter what.

I never neglect the fundamental theorem of calculus.

I make sure to save a little time each day for a “Dali Lama moment”.

I don’t speak what I can smile. I don’t smile what I can nod. I don’t nod what I can just mentally incinerate.

I turn near death experiences into ebook opportunities.

Each day, Instead of 3 30 min meals, I eat 40 1 min meals – a 50 min savings.

I don’t go to the cup, I bring the cup to me.

I never check email. I open an email account, then close it without checking it.

Instead of reading a book filled with different words, I re-read the same word as many times as possible.

Instead of complaining, I look at a picture of a dead guy for 90 seconds.

I work in a distraction-proof hyperbaric ward.

**

Minimalist Tree Image licensed under Creative Commons 2.0

Is Free Will Even Possible?

Subscribe here, and our team of infinite monkeys shall deliver further written amusement to your inbox, but not too often.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Written by

Hyoom

Hyoom is a site for humorous, thoughtful writing. At Hyoom, truth is respected but not dispensed freely, like so much loose change.