Obvious Advice from a Dad to His Son, Pt. III

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Son, to win someone over quickly, you should convincingly demonstrate your undeniable and shocking excellence to them. But do it quickly, Son.

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Son, to build something that lasts, don’t build something shaky that falls apart in a day.

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Son, the worst mistake you could make would be to destroy all of space-time. If you didn’t make that mistake, you didn’t make the worst mistake.

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Son, surround yourself with geniuses, not idiots. That’s my mastermind principle.

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Son, to be a warrior, eat like a warrior, sleep like a warrior, talk like a warrior. Do all your actions in a warrior-esque way.

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Son, if you concede immediately, you’ll lose quickly.

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Son, if you want to stop someone dead in their tracks, put up a giant, impenetrable wall between them and their goals. That should do it, Son.

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Son, if you have a really great bed, one third of your life will be great.

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Son, if someone tells you their motto is “victory or death”, don’t dig deeper into that. Just leave.

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Son, to control the masses, find something they desire unequivocally and desperately, and dangle it in front of them, always just out of reach. This way you can control the masses, son.

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Son, let’s say there’s a knock at your door. Is it opportunity? Answer it. Is it a hit-man? Don’t answer it. Is it something else? Those are the hard ones.

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Son, the key to confidence is knowing that you can master any situation, conquer any adversary, tame any lion. If you can do all that, you’ll have tons of confidence for sure.

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Son, the secret to happiness is to find out whatever makes you sad and obliterate all the people who cause that stuff.

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Son, if you’re perfectly quiet, what do you hear? Not you.

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Son, if you find a key that unlocks every door, keep your big mouth shut.

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Son, one mistake in life is walking into a terrible situation full of murderers and con-men and snake-pits. I advise against it, son.

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Son, if you go around denouncing things all of the time, people will think of you as one of those people who goes around denouncing things all of the time.

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Son, if you want credibility, try infallibly predicting future wars, stock prices, and fashion trends, and telling everyone about it on the internet for free.

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Son, no one knows you as well as you know yourself.  If someone tells you otherwise, they’re probably saying that they’re really you, and you aren’t you, or some dumb paradox like that.

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Son, if you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you turn a man into a fish, he’ll be in the sea probably forever.

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Hyoom

Hyoom is a site for humorous, thoughtful writing. At Hyoom, truth is respected but not dispensed freely, like so much loose change.