How to Break it to Your Family: You’re Dating a Ring-Tailed Lemur

  • Increase / decrease font
  • A +
  • A -

1. INTRODUCE: Hey Mom, hey Dad, hey Uncle Bob, this is my new LOVE.

happy-lemur

2. CLARIFY: Yes, (s)he is NOT a HUMAN (WO)MAN, this is a LEMUR, GUYS.

lemur-love

3. REMIND NOT MONKEY: They are a Strepsirrhine Primate, NOT a “monkey.” There is no “MONKEY BUSINESS” going on HERE! PLEASE!

lemur-sitting

4. DISARM BOB: Hey, Uncle Bob, NO need for you to be a BIGOT about this!

uncle-bob

5. STATE DENTITION:  The lemur has a deciduous dentition (incisors, canines, premolars, molars) of 2.1.3/2.1.3 × 2 = 24. Do you GET IT now, guys?

ring-tailed-lemur-eating

6. DISARM MOM: This is NOT about your feelings, MOM, this is about OUR LOVE.

lemur-eating

7. AFFIRM SIMILARITY: They are DIURNAL LIKE US and highly SOCIAL.

lemur-group

8. REITERATE LOVE: We’re HAPPY together. End of story, guys!

lemurs-on-back

You DONE it. WOW. It’s LEMUR TIME!!!

weird-lemur

***

Pics 3, 6, 7, and 8 licensed under Creative Commons 2.0. Rest of pics licensed under public domain.

Is Free Will Even Possible?

Subscribe here, and our team of infinite monkeys shall deliver further written amusement to your inbox, but not too often.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Written by

Hyoom

Hyoom is a site for humorous, thoughtful writing. At Hyoom, truth is respected but not dispensed freely, like so much loose change.