Other Things That Make Jack a Dull Boy

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Other Things That Make Jack a Dull Boy

All sushi and no sashimi

All virtue and no vice

All KIAs and no Monster Trucks

All soft warm pretzels and no dippin’ cheese

All Malcolm Gladwell and no real hard science

All in-laws and no outlaws 

All extreme couponing and no daily mindfulness practice

All tweets and no retweets

All GIFs and no JPEGs

All House Hunters and no Wrestlemania

All liberal arts classes and no practical skills

All whack-a-mole and no skee-ball

All $2 coffees and no $6 coffees

All newtonian mechanics and no general relativity

All quilting and no fistfights

All indie rock and no progressive blackened death metal

All time travel and no Hitler Assassinations

All Enya and no massages

All grand macroeconomic theories and no ceteris paribus clauses

All ten commandments and no moral ambiguity

All Attention Deficit Disorder and no project management software

All Marvel action figures and no sex partners


Dull Boy pic thanks to Gratisography.

Oh Yes, There's More...

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Written by

Alex Baia is a humor writer and contributor to McSweeney’s and Slackjaw. He lives in Austin, TX.