A Hipster Mad Lib: A One Act Play

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Hipster Mad Lib: A one-act play

Hipster 1 parks their ______ (form of transportation with an odd number of wheels, or where the wheels are not equally sized) just outside the coffee shop.

Hipster 1 walks into their favorite coffee shop, ______ (type of Peruvian spice) & ______ (dog breed typically associated with British royals).

They order a ______ (Cambodian genocidal dictator) smoothie.

Barista: Sorry, we’re out of ______ (Cambodian genocidal dictator) smoothies. We have some ______ (six-sided geometric shape) bread pizzas left today though.

Hipster 1: Yeah, that sounds awesome.

Barista: Cool. It takes about ______ (number between 57 and 113) minutes on that ______ (six-sided geometric shape) bread pizza.

Hipster 1 finds a table and puts their ______ (type of hand operated machine that is more than 50 years old) on it.

Hipster 1 notices that Hipster 2, sitting at the next table, is wearing a ______ (classic fabric pattern) jacket and has a baby ______ (type of animal with quills) in their lap while listening to music on their iPhone _____ (number between 6 and 7).

Hipster 1: Which Radiohead album are you listening to?

Hipster 2: I’m listening to ______ (Radiohead Album that takes a critical stance toward social alienation, unchecked consumerism, and the rapid advancement of consumer electronics).

Hipster 1: That’s a good album, but I like  ______ (Radiohead album that takes a critical stance toward political ignorance, intolerance, and the war on terror) more.

Hipster 1: Really? Do you like it as much as ______ (Radiohead album featuring electronic experimentation, jazz influences, and non-sequitur lyrics)? I always thought that one was way underrated.

Hipster 2: I can’t listen to ______ (Radiohead album featuring electronic experimentation, jazz influences, and non-sequitur lyrics) anymore because it reminds me of how I had to breakup with my ______ (type of unlicensed, wholistic health professional).

Hipster 1: Oh, that sucks. Radiohead is a big influence on my band, The ______ (plural noun, US Naval Rank).

Hipster 2: Awesome. I had a solo project back in ______ (town in Oregon) but don’t have much time for it anymore, since I’m getting my Masters in ______ (liberal art ending in the word “Studies,” where the mean starting salary after graduation is less than $35,000 per year).

Hipster 1: Cool.

Hipster 1 and Hipster 2 then ignore each other so that they can work on their Tumblr blogs called “Brooklyn ______” (hairless cat breed) and “The life of _______” (type of finger food that is significantly more challenging to eat with a beard).


Sunset Pipe courtesy of Pexels.

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Written by

Alex Baia is a humor writer and contributor to McSweeney’s and Slackjaw. He lives in Austin, TX.