Why Is There Something Rather Than Nothing? Reasons only Blaine, Wisconsin Mom Sharon Cavanaugh Would Give.

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Why Is There Something Rather Than Nothing? Reasons that only Blaine, Wisconsin mother of four Sharon Cavanaugh Would Give.

1.  As Nozick observed, there are infinitely many ways for there to be something, but there is only one way for there to be nothing. So, under probabilistic indifference, nothing existing at all is entirely unlikely. I’ll tell you what else is unlikely: You getting an allowance this week if you don’t clean that room!

2. There are interpretations of Heidegger where the question—“Why does anything exist?”—is simply unfathomable to us. And yet philosophy itself is at stake. Perhaps we should continue to boldly question the unfathomable. Speaking of questions, I have one that I can’t answer, sweetie pie. Where did I put my keys? Are they here? Are they over here? Are they in this drawer? Here they are, in my purse.

3. In a word: Selection bias. Only a universe with laws “fine tuned” to support the evolution of consciousness could, by definition, contain conscious beings who ask the question, “Why is there something rather than nothing?” Eat your heart out, critics of the anthropic principle! Then eat your Brussel sprouts. I’m not going to cook anymore if it’s not appreciated!

4. Plantinga’s ontological argument states that God is a logically necessary being. Thus, God exists in every possible world. And indeed, all those who treat any object as existing necessarily will share Plantinga’s general outlook here. Sharing is good, and good brothers aren’t afraid to share. Now please share the cookie with your sister. No, one cookie. Break it in half!

5. On modal realism, possible worlds are just maximal sums of spatiotemporally related things—basically, big physical objects. So forget about empty worlds with nothing. There are none! But don’t forget your gummy vitamins. Here’s a little more milk to wash down that gummy vitamin. Ok, Ok, If you don’t want to finish your milk, I can just put the glass in the fridge with a plastic bag over it. See? Don’t get upset.


Mom photo licensed under Creative Commons.

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Alex Baia is a humor writer and contributor to McSweeney’s and Slackjaw. He lives in Austin, TX.