Retro Pop Bands as Named by Analytic Philosophers

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A Melon That Cannot Process Visual Information

The Girls Disposed to Aromatically Flavoring with Ground Plant Substances

A Number of Individuals with Superior Musical Rhythms, Plus Marky Mark

Recently-Introduced Minors in an Intimate Spatial Relation to the Block

A Metaphysical Absence, Fronted by Courtney Love

Birthed of the Banal Vicissitudes That the Folk Naively Call “Destiny”

An Agent, Ben, Engages in Five Acts of Folding Behavior with Unspecified Foldable Substances

The Rational Degree of Doubt When Evaluating Utterly Simple Mathematical Propositions

An Imperative to Violently Break a Mouth into Pieces

At t=1, Boys. at t=2, Men.

Four Non Blondes


ACTUAL POP BANDS – ANSWER KEY: Blind Melon; The Spice Girls; Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch; New Kids On The Block; Hole; Destiny’s Child; Ben Folds Five; No Doubt; Smash Mouth; Boyz II Men; 4 Non Blondes

Spice Girls pic licensed under Creative Commons 4.0

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Written by

Alex Baia is a humor writer and contributor to McSweeney’s and Slackjaw. He lives in Austin, TX.